Kids: I Don't Keep Secrets

Children should never feel they have to keep a secret that makes them uncomfortable, frightened, confused or worried. Teaching children that they can always tell a trusted adult helps build confidence, encourages open communication and makes it harder for unsafe behaviour to remain hidden.

It is more than a tee, it is a conversation starter and a visible reminder: safe adults do not ask children to keep unsafe secrets.

Children should not be expected to keep secrets from their parents or trusted adults because secrecy can be used as a tool to isolate, manipulate and control them.

Grooming often begins in ways that appear harmless. A person may give special attention, gifts, treats or privileges and then introduce phrases such as, “This is just between us,” or “Don’t tell your mum.” Over time, this can teach a child that keeping things hidden is part of the relationship. It may also make them feel responsible for protecting the adult, worried that they will get in trouble or afraid they will not be believed.

Teaching children “I don’t keep secrets” creates a simple protective rule. It tells them they are always allowed to speak, no adult has the right to ask them for secrecy and they can keep telling trusted adults until someone listens.

A surprise is different from a secret. A surprise is temporary, has a clear ending and is usually intended to make someone happy, such as keeping a birthday present hidden until the celebration. Once the surprise is revealed, everyone can talk about it.

A secret is something a child is expected to hide for an unknown or ongoing period. It may involve pressure, fear, discomfort, gifts, threats, touching, photographs or behaviour they have been told not to discuss.

The I Don’t Keep Secrets Tee is powerful because it turns an important child-safety message into something children can understand and remember:

Surprises are temporary. Secrets can always be told.